as if long prepared, as if courageous

it's funny how emotion or memory can catch you unawares. such as when you are filling these pages with idle chatter about root vegetables or self-righteous rants about justice and then suddenly you remember that there is a huge hole in your heart at the moment. and you immediately want to write that. for writing it releases somehow. but then you don't want to write that for it is too personal and, overly open-hearted as i am, little trouble is not and i want to respect that. and besides i didn't start this blog to be another intelligent woman who only writes about her romantic woes. i suppose i had wanted to be substantive although to be honest there wasn't much of an agenda except to write. but perhaps it's time to step away from things personal and focus on justice and jiaozi once again. or step back entirely and finally take on one of the 12 creative writing project ideas i have dancing about. (note to self: something to do during the 12 days of xmas.) thankfully, i think that only my parents read this (hi!). as if long prepared, as if courageous, i am going to take my internal conversations offline and do the real work alone.