a 'gift' of snow

for the first time ever on halloween, the weather seemed to be coordinated with my costume. a friend and i were 'little white lies', which involved dressing all in white (including faces and hair (which was a curious preview of what i'll look like in my 70s!)) and bedecking ourselves in 'lies' (they included: "it's not you, it's me", "i'll call you tomorrow", "dark chocolate is a health food", "i'm 29", "i'm almost there, 5 mins", "that dress looks great on you!", etc). we looked fantastic, even if it took people a few minutes to sort it out.... little white lies began falling from the sky around midnight on all hallow's eve, a highly unusual occurrence. it had been quite warm in beijing in the preceding weeks and snow, which is itself rare, very rarely falls in november in the northern capital. it was so unusual it seemed, well, unnatural, pleased as i was that it matched my costume.

the snowflakes were, in fact, little white lies. the snow was induced by the beijing weather modification office in order to combat beijing's "lingering drought. the office seeded the clouds starting at 8 pm on saturday using "186 doses of silver iodide". the snow kept up through the night was falling nearly all day on sunday. this was also serious snow - thick flakes with staying power such that the city was properly blanketed. i have never seen so much snow in beijing. it was beautiful to watch fall, although attempting to fly out of beijing that afternoon was less beautiful. (i am still in beijing and ill. sigh.)

the beijing airport was insanity that day. although the people's daily online had a more positive spin, noting that "the snow brought unexpected fun and joy to tourists in beijing". the same article did concede, however, that beijing might find it challenging to handle the "more the 16 million tonnes of artificially added snow". the paper observed, "the snow, which local media called a 'gift', however, is expected to bring troubles to the city's traffic". but we can all overlook a little duche (traffic) for the gift of a white halloween!

when i searched online to confirm my suspicion that the snow was unnatural and stumbled across this article, i couldn't help but smile. it's kind of surreal to watch the snowflakes fall in a freezing flat (the heat in beijing isn't turned on until nov. 15th, although thankfully they turned it on by sunday night!) in the capital of a country with a 'weather modification office' where the main paper can dictate the conclusions of the local media. i just suddenly felt as though i was in a novel or curious short story, a feeling that was exacerbated as i was unable to get any information via phone or even in person at the airport about when or whether my flight was going to take off.

falling snow makes me thoughtful. and as i contemplated it, i realized that this is the city i have lived in longest on this earth. and yet, it is not home. or cannot be. i realize that my commitment to being here this time around is perhaps not complete. because i only think of it as "for now" or for a few years. or perhaps more accurately because i am still struggling to find a real community here. or perhaps even more accurately because something of the messy, complex, scrappy beijing of my childhood has been lost in this new, shiny metropolis. and i miss the unsophistication and the innocence of that china. convenient as life here has now become, it's less fun somehow. or maybe that's just because i don't have the appropriate people to share it with. that being said, i am so fortunate to have such wonderful colleagues and to be able to do such compelling work. work is, of course, not enough. but it will have to be for now. i also keep wanting to pick up one of the 12 writing projects i have squirreled away in various corners of my mind and on my laptop. but i have a hard time knowing where to begin. (the trick, of course, is simply beginning.)

the 'gift' of this snow has at least forced me to slow down. i never did make my flight and ended up canceling my trip as the cold weather finally gave the cold / cough i was fighting off a chance to completely floor me. being sick and stuck at home is also good for contemplation. or perhaps it's not. i'm rather fuzzy-headed and, let's be honest, probably do too much thinking.....